Dearest Neighbor,

I write this with an open mind. I have only met you in passing and had a brief conversation with you. I do know you have at least one cat due to the 'in case of a fire save my cat' sticker on your door. For some reason I know you live alone but am not quite sure how I know that. I do have one concern and grievance I must get off my chest.

The pounding. I am going to assume you are chopping onions and you had a stressful day and decided to take it out on the poor unsuspecting onion. I'm also going to assume after you've taken out said aggressions on poor Mr. Onion that you turn your attention to dough and are baking bread. I'm assuming it's a small loaf of bread that doesn't need a lot of kneading as all of this is being done after 7pm at night. Perfect timing I might add as my son is in bed trying to get some sleep. I'm sure he is getting use to the pounding because he doesn't get up anymore.

I am still going to assume that after you are done kneading the bread dough you are going to rehang that picture for the one millionth time. I am glad we have nothing hanging on that wall as I'm sure due to your frustrations they would all come crashing down.

May I make one small suggestion to help with your pounding? Instead of giving Mr Onion, Ms. Bread, and Sir Wall a headache why don't you join a gym and trying boxing. I have heard this is very good at relieving stress and also beneficial to your body. But I'm not going to go there. I suggest possibly anger management might help you. It is easier and more beneficial if you talk about what is bothering you instead of abusing in adamant objects.

Do you know what? I have a better idea. My husband, son, and I will move out. You have been a great neighbor. I will cherish the late night banging and poundings. I will remember you as I hang my pictures in our new house. When I chop an onion I will remember how much joy you brought us when we had to turn our TV up to hear it over your pounding.

It has been a pleasure being your neighbor. May we never meet again.

We're Moving!!!

I introduce you to our new house!! We looked at it last week (even though I have been eying it for a few weeks now) and are in LOVE. It has 4 bedrooms (although the 4th one is in the basement but not finished. It only needs Sheetrock), 3 of them are upstairs, 3 bathrooms (yes 3! The master bedroom has it's own bathroom! Nothing spectacular, like a jacuzzi tub, but it has it's own), one upstairs, and a full bath in the basement. The basement is finished (YAY!!) and HUGE. There is plenty of room for David to have a play area and for us to put the TV down there. There is a living room upstairs next to the kitchen and dining room. I'm excited to have counter space and storage space again! There is a pond in the backyard but we don't have a huge hill like we did at our old house. AND they have cattails around the pond! When we lived in our other house we had to cut the 'weed's' or the city would fine us. We didn't like this as this caused geese to come into our yard and there were hardly any birds. The house is in a cul-de-sac off a very quiet street.

The new house is about 5 minutes North of our old house! It'll cut over 20 minutes off of Daddy's drive. It increases my drive a bit but that's OK. All that matters is that Daddy's drive is decreased.

Today we are going to go put our notice in here at our apartment and I'm going to see if any of our friends are able to help us move. We don't have that much to move so it shouldn't be too bad. We'll be moving sometime in January. We're putting in a 2 month notice here so hopefully by mid January we'll be in our new house!

I better get going. Lot's to do today!

Quiet day

Little Man and I stayed home from work and daycare today. Little Man has had diarrhea for 6 days and I was worried he would pass this on to the other kids at daycare. Even though Ms. S. is wonderful and said she would still take him. We are having a quiet day. He’s colored, played with play-doh and even watched me clean the bathroom and put clothes away. When he wakes up from a nap we’re going to watch a movie.

I’m hoping we’ll have a big announcement to announce soon. Although if you are from Adoption Talk or friends of Daddy on Facebook you might have seen and heard what is possibly going to happen. We are so excited and petrified all at the same time.

It’s hard to believe next week is Thanksgiving. This past year really has flown by. We are staying home for Thanksgiving and will enjoy lots of turkey and food maybe a nap or 2. I am off that day and the day after. I’m looking forward to sleeping in and putting up the tree. Due to possible announcement we won’t be decorating as much.

I better go before I give away too much. 

Whoa!

I knew it's been awhile since I posted but I didn't realize it's been this long. Life is busy and Little Man is growing. Recently he 'found' his little Elmo computer (it's not a real computer mind you) and has been playing with it and talking with it constantly. It's funny because I hear him arguing with Elmo. 'NO! That is NOT an octagon!' Ha ha.

Daddy is loving his job and I am loving mine. Daddy has been on overtime the past month or so. So it's just been Little Man and I most nights. I hate to admit that we are watching movies most nights or cartoons because I am so tired. Little Man doesn't mind as he'll sit in my lap and we'll snuggle.

He loves going to daycare at MS. S's house. Who wouldn't if you were the only boy? AND! Ms. S's husband has John Deere equipment and Little Man is in HEAVEN! He asks to go every day and loves to show off all the projects they do. He is quite the drawer. Speaking of drawing he has been asking for me to help him write his name. His favorite letter to make is a 'O'. I wonder why. :)

That's a pretty quick summary on what is going on and hopefully I'll be back to writing rather continuously soon.

Wow!

Ok, Little Man is in daycare. Now most Daycares here in the Cities (agency run ones) are around $240 a week or $960 a month. When Little Man was in daycare (for 2 weeks) 2 years ago it was the cheapest agency ran one at $160 a week or $640 a month. I thought that was a steal. Now he is an in home daycare ran by a friend of ours friend's daughter. I was told how much she charged but, honestly, I forgot. I was filling out paperwork today and one of the sheets said what she charges. $125 a week! That's only $500 a month!!! That's $140 less than what I was expecting! Now I can put an extra $140 a month into our adoption fund.

Lord, you provide when we need it. You continually bless us beyond words.

Thank you.

Day 2

I suppose your wondering if I mean Day 4 but nope I mean Day 2. Daddy's car overheated on Thursday so he had to take my car to work and I missed work Thurs and Fri. Not that I'm complaining but I missed some things at work I would have liked to be at.

So tomorrow will be Day 2 with Little Man at daycare. I know you all are wondering...He LOVES it! When I picked him up on Wednesday he was barefoot, flushed, and wet with the HUGEST smile on his face. It was so good to pull up to that. I was thinking about him all day and wondered how he was doing. His daycare gal (I'll call her Ms. S. so we won't confuse her with S, Little Man's birthmom) had nothing but praise and awe over Little Man. She said he was so good. When it was time to eat she would ask him to sit at the table and he'd say 'OK' or how about taking a nap and he'd reply 'Sure'. He told her a few times he had to go potty and got on the big potty all by himself.

Also, when I pulled up a lady was dropping off her 2 daughters and I thought she looked familiar. She made a comment to Ms. S. about me looking familiar and she said where I go to church. Come to find out we go to the same church. Her mom use to teach the 3rd and 4th graders (she retired last year). I find that refreshing that member's of our church recommended Ms. S. and now a fellow member sends her 2 daughters there. By the way, Little Man is the only boy out of 6 girls.

Also, Ms. S.'s husband, R, drives a motorcycle. When he came home on Wednesday Little Man let out the loudest shriek and was SO excited to see a motorcycle up close. Now that's all Little Man talks about. 'R has a motorcycle and I got to see it!'

Oh, Daddy's car is fixed...$500 later. Ugh. I thank God we had the money to fix it even if it leaves a pit in my stomach.

Well I better go look for Little Man's shot card. Ms. S. needs a copy and I have no idea where it is. Nothing like looking for something at the last moment.

Day 1

Tomorrow is Day 1 of Daddy's new job and Little Man's first day at daycare. I was getting a bit worried when she never called me back (she was on vacation last week) and was hoping I wouldn't have to miss work tomorrow. Come to find out her father in law (and mother in law) are in town and he had a heart attack on Friday. He's doing well and will be going home to Florida on Thursday.

I'll be dropping Little Man off at daycare at 7am. And I'm petrified. Not because Little Man is actually in daycare but because I've never driven to her house by myself. She lives in the country by our church and the past couple times Daddy has driven. I'm going to Google her address and put it on my GPS, just in case.

Tomorrow becomes our new routine. Wake up at 5am, drop Little Man off at daycare by 7am (requiring me to leave around 6:30am), Daddy will leaving a little before 6am to be at work by 7am, work, I'll be leaving around 4pm, Daddy will be leaving around 3:30pm, he will pick up Little Man, and I will head home to clean up a little and start supper. Hello normal, you will become routine in no time.

No more nights with Daddy away. We continue to be overwhelmed at how much God continues to bless us.

Work and life

Well Daddy FINALLY got the job! Yoohoo! Now reality is setting in. Not that unemployment didn't but having to juggle dropping Little Man off at daycare and picking him up and Daddy driving a total of 2 hours everyday. It will work and we are truly blessed for him to finally be working. We are beyond excited. A huge weight is lifted off and we feel we can live. Not that we haven't but we have not gone up North in a year and 3 months. Daddy and I are itching to get up North and take Little Man out into the great outdoors.

Work for me is going great. Because of Daddy's new job he needs to go up and get a physical. He has to do this tomorrow and since our daycare gal is on vacation this week (perfect timing huh?) I'll be staying home tomorrow morning. I thought I'd ask my supervisor and see if I could work from home that morning. She emailed our manager and she said yes! How cool is that?! It's suppose to be hush hush, which is fine. I'm so thrilled I get to get a few hours of work in and won't have to make it up, use vacation or risk not getting paid at all. And the fact this could be an option whenever Little Man is sick and I could get some work done while at home and not have to use up vacation or sick time.

I also ask for your prayers as one of my friends dad just passed away unexpectedly a couple days ago. This is a rough time with her and her family.

One more time

Well next Wednesday at 1:30pm Daddy will be having interview #2. We are thinking they will give him the job this time. (praying and crossing fingers!) With all the frustrations and troubles this company has been giving Daddy I've always felt he would work there.

I will keep you posted if Daddy has a job next week.

Back at it again

After talking to his former coworker (who got the job HE originally applied for), Daddy emailed the company yesterday and a couple other people want to interview him. We are scrambling to find someone to watch Little Man (a glimpse into what is to come when he is in daycare) sometime the first week in August. I can't miss time as it's month end. Well maybe if it's before the 3rd but who knows.

At my job lots of changes are happening. With budget cuts and letting go of people our business office is being restructured. Depending on who you are (meaning how hard you work and how well you know and want to do your job) this is could be bad thing.

I got the hugest compliment from my boss when I found out my coworker is our new supervisor and I was also apparently in the running to be a supervisor. The only reason I didn't get it is because I'm so new. Which is fine. I would have taken on the job with pride and would have been shaking in my boots at the same time. This is bad for our current supervisor. She's kind of getting demoted. She really was not a good fit for being a supervisor. She just can't separate friendship and work.

I on the other hand will be working Medicare A AND B. My coworker who handles the B is not strong enough. She is not on top of things and they are seeing that. Her new position is clerical, entering cash receipts and doing insurance verification. I am not sure how she is going to handle this (she already knows she is handling cash receipts but I don't think she fully realizes I'm getting B for both facilities). I'm sure she'll be in my cube complaining after her meeting and our department meeting on Friday afternoon (I had my meeting this afternoon with my boss).

After this long week all that is happening is making me happy. I love what I do and as scared as I am that sometimes I don't know it all I am doing a great job and they are seeing that. Also, I was thinking this morning (remember it's been a long week) about Daddy's job and if I really should stay at my job. I was worried about advancing in the company. I honestly didn't see any advancement opportunities for me. I thought of the supervisor position but figured it was out of reach. My boss commented that it is not out of reach and I would definitely be considered down the road if/when people are promoted (or someone leaves). That makes me feel good.

Life is looking up. Now if only we could get through our agency. We are having issues with them being more worried about money and the secretary has NOT called or emailed me back since we talked last Friday. Daddy and I aren't happy and are ready to pull our application and ask for a refund.

I'll keep you posted.

Out of the mouth of babes

Mommy - 'Little Man, do you want a brother or a boat?'

Little Man 'A boat.'

:)

Little Sponge but who's pouring the water?

Daddy told me today Little Man told him that Divorce is between a mommy and a daddy.

WHAT?! Where did he learn that? We don't watch any news, or other unkid friendly shows around him. We also do NOT talk about divorce around him, about anyone going through it. So where is he picking this up?

I'm starting to wonder how much is on during commercials when he watches the Disney Channel while Daddy takes a shower in the mornings during the week and Saturday mornings. He has asked to watch Hannah Montana on many occasions. Yeah, that's all I need my 3 year old watching some over acting, drama, tween TV show. I'm thinking we may have to go to strictly DVD's (Veggie Tales, Cars, Jungle Book, Thomas, etc).

He is too smart for his own good.

Stashing money

I found out today Daddy has been stashing away money. Ok ok, he's been putting money aside. I didn't know about this and was worried about why he was stashing money away when we are putting money aside for the adoption.

He said he's been putting money aside the past few months so that at the end of this month he can get new tires on my car.

YAY!!!!!!! My car has needed new tires since we got new tires 2 years ago. I am SO excited!

I better go. We're off to our friends to celebrate Little Man's birthday.

Here's an oxymoron for you

Patiently waiting.

I'd be lying if I said I was patiently waiting. I submitted the last part of our formal application on Sunday and am eagerly waiting for our agency to get the ball rolling. I'm eager for more paperwork, interviews, and most of all I need to go to the doctor (nothing serious I need to get my heart listened by my doc and want to get it done with) and want the paperwork so I can get everything done at once.

Our agency has added a couple more children waiting for their forever families. Boy are they cute! I showed a picture of a little boy to Daddy and his not so enthusiastic reply was 'Oh, he's cute.' Fine, never mind. I think he has his heart set on a daughter. I honestly hope not that it deters him from any little boys that could possibly be our future child.

I'm so thankful to our friends who have offered to be our references. I can not describe how scared I was to ask. I know they are our friends and would do anything but it is so humbling to ask someone to talk about your life and all that you do. The raising of our child and our spirituality. I'm so in awe over my friends and feel I should tell our social worker we are honored to have them as our friends.

And the countdown is on to Little Man's 3rd birthday. I can NOT believe he is going to be 3. Words cannot express how much love I have for him. The joy, the laughter that come from him is contagious. I love his love for books, Thomas the tank engine, and cars. And be careful, if you come into our home there may be a dinosaur lurking ready to RAWR!

Fireworks

One of the things I look forward to in the summer is watching the fireworks over the bay in Grand Marais, MN. Once we watched the fireworks right on the rocks on Lake Superior in Tofte, MN (right in front of Daddy's grandma's house). Note, I said once. I didn't like it. Amateurs light them off and it just isn't safe. I use to joke that it's more fun watching the people who are setting the fireworks off than it is watching the fireworks because it's like they don't know what they are doing. One year in Grand Marais we watched one guy almost get badly hurt. That wasn't funny.

I'm glad we didn't go up this year. Click here to watch what happened. I'm glad no one got hurt.

New Law

There's a new law that goes into effect July 1st. All kids under the age of 8 or 4 foot 9 inches tall need to be in a booster seat.

I seriously have a problem with this law. Where are my rights as a parent? If I as a parent think my child doesn't have to be in a booster at 8 years old I should have a right not to put them in one. Why do I need the government to tell me how to raise my child? Bad enough I need them in my life determining how fit I am adopt a child and now they are making decisions for me too?

What about my sister who's barely 4 foot 11 inches tall. She's barely 4 foot 9 by the time she was in the 7th grade. So she's suppose to be in a booster seat at the tender age of 13 because her genetics place her in the short group?

I have so many issues with this. I will not force my child to be in a booster seat when he is 8. The government needs to spend less time trying to tell us American's what we can and can't do by all these laws and spend more time trying to create jobs.

And so it begins

What's with this? I dropped off our paperwork on Friday and I'm already itching to buy stuff. We going international this time around. We know our next child will be over a year (and under 3) by the time we bring he/she home. So why do I feel the urge to go out and by everything in sight? Clothes, shoes, toys, and we haven't even started the homestudy yet! I figured this time around would be different. The first time we knew we'd be placed with an infant. So we needed bottles, bibs, onesies, car seat, a stroller, toys, wipes, changing table, high chair and many other things. This time we don't need all that. Ok maybe diapers. We have 2 car seats (one in each car and can easier use the 2nd one for our future child).

I found myself asking Daddy if we can buy a shelf for our next child. Of course he gave me 'the look'. Which is the look I got the last time we were waiting and wanted to buy everything under the sun.

Hopefully I can hold myself back and not buy anything until we're matched. :)

Potty advice from a toddler

Little Man and I were getting ready to leave so we could stop by our adoption agency and drop off our formal application for adoption #2. (EEEEEeeeee!!!)

Little Man went potty first and I told him to throw his pull up (he had just woken up from a nap) away while I go to the bathroom. He happily runs out of the bathroom and then yells...

'Don't forget to hold your wee-wee down!'

Um...we'll need to have an anatomy lesson when he's older. ;)

Who are you?

My blog is semi private. Semi meaning it's not posted out there in internet land and it's not private where you need to give me your email address to have access to read.

I can see who logs and reads my blog. I know who each isp name belongs too.

Except one. It's ISP is unknown and this scares me. Why must you be unknown? What are you hiding? I don't mind you reading my blog but I'd like to know about you too.

I see you were on yesterday at 8:19pm. On the 23rd you were on at 9:15pm. June 22nd you were on at 7:01pm, the 21st at 8:51am (I feel honored you were bored enough at work to be reading my blog). On the 20th you were on twice at 12:03 pm (I'm thinking you were on lunch that day) and 4:54pm.

I'll stop there. You get the drift. So please post a comment and introduce yourself. I won't post it. I'd just like to know who you are so when I see the unknown ISP I can think to myself 'Hey that's Jane!' or 'Aw, Barb was on today. I hope she had a great day.'

Thanks in advance.

2 weeks 1 day

I'm in denial. In 2 weeks and 1 day Little Man turns 3. 3!! Where is the time going?

As sad as I am that my baby, turned toddler, is on his way to be a little boy, I am ecstatic that God has placed this precious child in our care. Words can't discribe how happy he makes us (and sometimes frustrates us). Watching him grow, he can walk around the bed and see over it vs us only being able to see the top of his head. Watching him learn many different things. He loves to watch car shows on TV with Daddy and asked me yesterday if the show I was watching were building cars. Sorry, nope, they were making a cake.

He is now in the 'I do it!' phase. Pulling down his underwear, putting it on. Brusing his teeth, hair, picking out his clothes and putting his stuffed animals on his bed.

Speaking of his stuffed animals this is where I the mom come in. He's turning into me. How can I put this lightly. He's getting...picky. For example, I HAVE to make my and Jeff's bed. The sheets have to be even on each side, no bumps or anything sticking up. The blankets have to be put on one by one and again even on each side. When I go to bed everything has to be...'perfect'. The sheets, the blankets and my pillow. I don't know how but that is rubbing off on Little Man. I tucked him in bed, gave him a kiss and hug (and he in turn) and walked out. A few seconds later he was screaming. I run in and he cries 'The blanket is messy. Fix it!' Oh, oh. I've created a monster. This hasn't happened once but a few times.

I also love when I start singing he chimes in. It's fun listening him try to sing what I'm singing. I love it when he makes up his own songs.

The itsy bitsy spider...is scary...down come the rain...

I about lost it with that song. Yes spiders are scary.

Now...I better hurry up and figure out what I'm going to do for his birthday cake.

It's been awhile

Wow, I really haven't been writing much, have I? Honestly the past few weeks I haven't felt like writing. Just a lot going on. Frustrations with Daddy and the job market and the lovely economy were in.

I do have some news to share.

First, it's looking like Daddy may be going back to school. He may do this program through this school here in the Cities our friend is going through. I will definitely keep you all posted on that.

Second, next week I will be mailing out the formal application for our 2nd adoption. Eeeee!!! I'm so excited and scared. We are going to do what we did the first time and take our time with our homestudy. We should be approved by the end of the year. Daddy also been getting lots of hours from Cabela's which is helping in saving up for the homestudy. It's nice we can pay cash for that and not have to figure that into our loan. I'm eager to start the homestudy because then we can apply for grants. And by the time we're done with the homestudy Daddy should be done with the program and maybe have a full time job. Who knows.

Keep us in your prayers.

BTW, Daddy was a daughter and Little Man wants a brother. Sigh...I just want another child to love.

Pondering a thought

I was in a meeting today at work. It was held in the auditorium which is by the dining area. The dining area was full of residents there to listen to a gal and guy play music. They both come once a week and do a set for about an hour or so.

Well during the meeting they started playing and singing. I should have listened to my meeting but a thought struck me...what kind of people will come and sing at a nursing home when our generation is there?

Will they be pumping out songs by The Black Eyed Peas, Snoop Dog, and Alicia Keys instead of polka and yodeling? Instead of swing dancing will they make room for break dancing? (Can you see the ambulances lining up at the front for all those broken hips?) Instead of having movies ranging from Guys and Dolls to Casablanca, would they have American Pie, Ocean's Eleven, or even Hangover?

Instead of writing letters to your friends would each room have a computer so the residents could get on Facebook? Would some be blogging about nursing home life? To help residents stay be more enjoyable and comfortable, instead of magazines would they suggest they surf the web or IM their former college roommate who happens to be down the hall but can't get out of bed? Would a new activity involve a Wii and a few controllers?

Would half the men still have their pants down by their knees and it's not because they are old?

Instead of having to charge $2 a day to use the phone will everyone bring their new and updated cell phone and call family that way? Would their cell phone work as a call button and they'll be able to press a button and it'll go straight to the nurses desk? Would they be too busy text messaging their best friend at the assisted living to pay attention to what's going on in their care conference? Would they Tweet how much the care conference sucked and they just want to go home?

Time will tell but I find it very interesting how our generation will be in another 30 - 40 years.

Converstations with Little Man

Mommy: Who's S?

Little Man: S?

Mommy: Yes, who is S?

Little Man: She's my birthday mom.

Mommy: She's what?

Little Man: She's my birthday mom.

Mommy: *smiles* Yes, yes, she is.

Well...

We had a department meeting today about all the things going down at my work. Due to the economy and Washington cutting back nursing homes aren't making much money. Even if they are not for profit. Most people can't afford to pay to stay at a nursing home when their Medicare days are up. Even if they don't have a qualifying hospital stay they can't afford to stay at a nursing home as private pay for long. The charges quickly add up.

There have been layoffs and tightening of the belt. Luckily the business office won't be affected. Although during our department meeting todya we found out a few new things. I had to miss the first half has I had to go to a Medicare meeting but I got the run down on a few things.

My work is going into a forlough and instead of cutting people or doing a wage freeze (or were we going on one? I can't remember) each employee is giving up 3 hours of work. I don't know if this is weekly, by pay period or just once a month. Our COO did say something about it being every 3 weeks so I'm thinking it may just be once a month. Honestly I'm not worried. It'd be nice to have a little more time off. :)

The one thing I'm not happy about is they changing benefits. Their health insurance (in my opinion) is crap. I do NOT like deductibles. They are the first company I've been at where I didn't have the option to pay a higher rate to have no deductibles. My last job I was paying $300 a month to have no deductible, $20 office copay and resonable dental insurance and prescription coverage. At my current employer I pay $300 a month to barely cover anything. I only get 3 office visits a year covered at 100%, I have a $500 deductibe. So does my son and my husband which is $1500 a year. YUCK!! Once my 3 office visits are used up other visits are only covered at 80%. I do NOT like that! I want insurance that will cover me. I may start looking at individual plans. Let me rephrase that. I AM going to be looking at individual plans for my family and see if I can find a decent one and we may be going that route.

Also, this has helped me get in gear and write a book. I have always loved writing. I'm a bit rusty and am thankful for my friend who is going to help. I'm very excited and am eagerly getting some words down on paper. I was thinking of writing a little bit everyday and maybe be finished by winter. But with what is happening and with Daddy only having 3 months left of unemployment I'm going to kick it into gear and try to be done by Fall. Maybe middle Fall.

I will keep you all updated on how it's going and would appreciate any prayers.

I also ask you take a moment and pray for some of my coworkers who are working their last week this week. They are great people and will be missed.

We've been infested...

With monsters under the bed. I've always thought this was something TV and movies made up and kids really aren't afraid of monsters under the bed. Well Little Man is. He woke up last night crying about the monster under his bed. So I looked under the bed and as sternly as I could told that monster to 'Go Away'. Little Man seemed relieved and went back to bed.

Now...I hope the monster didn't crawl under my bed...

No more pull ups

Little Man is wearing these under these from now on. No I didn't buy these on line. You can get them cheaper at Target in the baby section. When he is wearing these he will actually tell us when he has to go pee. It may be after he's peed in them but now he can feel the wetness.

Everytime he sits on the potty he goes. He even went into the bathroom this morning pulled down his pants and pull up and went potty. (After I made the comment to him if he was so good at being able to open a container of yogurt why couldn't he go potty by himself.)

He is getting to be very independant and such a big helper. He loves to set the table, help with laundry, comb his own hair and brush his teeth, although he has put his toothbrush somewhere and we can't find it. Good thing I keep an extra one on hand.

A few days ago he fell and landed on this plastic bridge. The top of the bridge hit him under the eye and he now has a lovely shiner. It's slowly healing and I'm hoping it's gone by June 22nd. We are getting our pictures taken. I realized it's been over a year since we've had his picture professionally taken. (I wasn't in a hurry last year as money was a bit tight.) So I emailed a fellow blogger. I'm sure you've all heard of her. Mckmama will be doing our photoshoot. I'm sure you've heard about her sweet boy, Stellan. If not go check out her blog and read about it. As a fellow heart patient Stellan has a special place in my heart. Plus Mckmama is a wonderful photographer and lives only a short distance from us. I'm so very excited and now I need to go shopping to coordinate our outfits. :D Yes she will be doing a family portrait along with ones of just Little Man.

I will let you know when our proofs are ready and if your interested send me an email or post a comment and I will send you the link. I won't be posting it on here for privacy reasons.

Now I'm off to have lunch and enjoy a quiet afternoon while Little Man naps.

Conversations with Little Man

(We finished saying his bedtime prayers and like we do every night we pray for S. This conversation happened right after we said Amen.)

Little Man: I'm adopted.

Mommy: Yes you are.

Little Man: Maria (she's our hairstylist) is adopted.

Mommy: Yes she is.

Little Man: (Holds up his stuffed dog) Is Max adopted?

Mommy: Yes we adopted Max into our family.

Little Man: Teddy?

Mom: Yes

LM: Tiger?

Mom: Yes

LM: My bed?

Mom: No, your bed isn't adopted.

Little Man thinks for a little bit.

LM: Is Andrea adopted? (She's a friend of ours)

Mom: No, Andrea isn't adopted.

LM: She's not?

Mom: No, there are some people who are adopted. Like you and Malia. And some who aren't, like Andrea. Because that's the way God planned it.

LM: Neat.


Yes, Little Man that is very neat.

Well...

Two weeks and 1 day ago Daddy emailed that company in regards to the job they apparently offered him. Again, it's been 2 weeks and 1 day and he still has not heard back from the guy. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and figured he was on vacation. Now...I'm not so sure.

We have pretty much given up hope on this job...

Daddy got a letter in the mail that says when his unemployment insurance runs out (which should be in about 2 weeks) he can sign up for the extension.

Grapes

We have a bowl of grapes on the bottom shelf in our refrigerator for Little Man. He knows he needs to ask and he can go and get a couple grapes. Well last night right before I was going to tuck him into bed he walked into the livingroom and his cheeks were stuffed. I told him to spit it out and a proceeded to spit out 6 grapes. Yikes! I'm amazed he didn't choke.

Independant

There is a new phrase being said around our house. I bet you can guess who says it.

Yep, Little Man. And the phrase is 'I can do it All.By.My.Self!'

I tried picking a shirt out for Little Man to wear and I heard the pharse 'I can do it All by myself.' Okee dokee. I was going to help him get his bib on and heard him say 'I can do it all by myself!'

When I put his conditioner in his hair 'I can do it all by myself!'

So you can bet he now picks out his own shirt and socks every morning. He even picks if he wants to wear his white shoes or his brown shoes (even his sandals but it's been too cold to wear those). He helps wash his hair and put his conditioner in.

Pretty soon he's going to be doing everything himself. I do miss helping him get dressed and getting ready. On Saturday morning he came out of the bathroom with his shirt soaked and a wet head and his brush in his hand and said he combed his hair all by himself (we wet the brush if he has hair sticking up). Now...if we could only get this potty training down.

Goats Milk Soap

I was reading MckMamma's blog and saw a post she wrote (one of her normal contests) and she was giving away Goats Milk Soap from Goat Milk Soapers. I have heard about goats milk soap and have been intrigued. A few weeks ago I was watching Dirty Jobs and Mike Rowe was at a goat farm and they were making goats milk soap. I love how natural it is and isn't full of any chemicals we really shouldn't be putting on our skin. Plus the fact when I take a bath my skin should feel refreshed and not dried out.

Little Man was officially diagnosed with Keratosis Pilaris. I am on a mission to find any and all all-natural products he can use that won't irritate his skin even more than it is. The lotion recommended to us by the dermatologist is full of alcohol. How is that suppose to help keep the moisture in his skin? So, I decided last week to go ahead and buy a bar of goats milk soap from Goat Milk Soapers. A couple days later we received the soap and Little Man and I were SO excited! I got the unscented Purity soap to try before we tried the scented ones. Boy does it smell good (for being unscented, mind you)!

Daddy gave Little Man a bath and when he got out I could not believe how soft he was! His skin was not dry like it normally is after a bath and was very smooth. I haven't been putting his lotion on him and am testing to see how the goats milk will do this week. So far so good!

We also got a couple sample smelly soaps to try too. So I happily tried the Clean Cotton. Boy does it smell good!! EVERY time I get out of the bath my feet are D.R.Y. not this time! My feet are SMOOTH and soft. I was reading what a few people had to say about their soap and saw one lady wrote that she doesn't use shave gel when she shave her legs. She just used the soap. So I thought why not try it. OH MY GOSH! My legs are smooth and soft! Normally after a bath I need to put lotion on my legs and hands. I can't believe how refreshed my skin feels.

Can you tell I am in love with the soap? I highly recommend it! The family that runs the company live in the Indiana and even the kids (all 8 of them) are involved in making the soap. I love supporting small businesses like this.

So please check them out and try the soap for yourself. You won't be disappointed. By the way, even Daddy is a fan of the soap.

I'll let you know in a week how Little Man's skin is doing.

Potty training

Is not fun. Let me tell you. Little Man has other things on his mind than to remember to tell us he needs to pee. He knows what to do, where to do it and why he needs to do it. It's just remembering to do it. Sigh.

I put Little Man in underwear yesterday and a little while later he came up to me and was wearing a pull up. Hmmm... He still had his underwear on. This gave me an idea. Why not put underwear on and a pullup over it and then I don't have to worry about changing his pants every half hour. Plus we were going out to eat and then the store so this way we could put this theory to the test.

We got done eating and I took Little Man to the bathroom. His pullup and underwear were dry and he peed! YAY! When we got done shopping he told me he needed to pee. Wonderful! He was a bit late because he had already peed but his pants weren't soaked through and the fact he told me (while we were out and about) is a HUGE step!

We are going to be running around all day today and we'll see how he does.

No bills

I was talking to Little Man this morning and he was asking about me going to work.  I said I had to go to work so I can make some money so we can pay the bills.  He looked at me and said ‘No pay bills.’  I wish we didn’t have bills to pay either.  That would be so nice.

 

Daddy emailed the company a couple days ago wondering if there was a date set for when the plant is to be opening, most importantly when he can start working.  I hope the guy emails him back before the week is up.  It would be great if he said Daddy can start Monday. 

 

I ask you to pray for Daddy.  He is getting very frustrated in staying home.  He’s a guy.  He wants to be out making money and support his family.  He’s having a tough time dealing with me supporting us.  Please pray for patience and strength for him and that the company give him a date on when to start. 

I like my job, honest.

I like my job. I really do. It's challenging and rewarding. I do have my days where I wonder if it's all worth it. Especially when I'm confused or something and then I wonder if I'll ever get it.

But the one thing that's bothering me is my one coworker. She handle's the Medicare Part B accounts (I handle Part A). She use to work at our East campus and they moved her to our West campus to have all the business office people in one location. I'm glad they moved her as it would have been frustrating trying to get trained in. But what's bothering me is she is ALWAYS comparing the 2 facilities. 'East is/was more relaxed'. 'West is more 'professional'. No one even says Hi to you.' 'At East everyone could joke around. At West no one smiles.'

I didn't work at East. I work at West. I'm sorry she's having a tough time with the switch but I don't need to know what goes on at East. She has told me things about people at each facility (one including the story how my boss got her job) and how different they are because she feels 'I have a right to know.' No, I don't. I don't need to know that. I don't need to know that my boss is only 28, that she apparently only has funeral home billing in her history. I don't need to know my supervisor didn't know the Manager position was open. That my supervisor has low self esteem and needs to be lifted up alot.

I don't need to know.

What I need to know is how to do my job. How to get the claims out the door in a timely manner and how to get them paid in a timely manner.

I need to know that my manager is a great boss. She's down to earth but knows how to get the job done. She blunt, to the point and doesn't dance around messy problems. She knows how to show you you did something wrong without you feeling put down. I like that in a boss.

I know I get along with all my coworkers at West. From my coworkers in the business office, to the physical therapists, occupational therapists, and speech therapists in rehab, to the gals in the deli, the nurses, and nurse managers, social workers, housekeeping, IT staff, and all our volunteers.

I don't care how different each facility is. I will figure that out on my own.

What I do know is I like my job and what I do. That's all that matters.

Bedtime prayer

Daddy and I decided last night Little Man is old enough to start saying his bedtime prayer with us.  So I started the prayer and told Little Man to repeat what I said.  Here’s how the prayer went:

 

Mommy: Now I lay me

 

Little Man: Down to seep

 

(OK, this will work too)

 

Mom: I pray the Lord

 

LM: Me too keep

 

Mom: If I should die

 

LM: I wake

 

Mom: I pray the Lord

 

LM: Me take.

 

(We also say a prayer for S.  I say the same words every time we pray for her.)

 

Mom: Please watch over S

 

LM: guy bless her. AMEN!!  (Guide and bless her)

Number 3

A couple days ago we were finishing supper and Daddy asked me if I could clean Little Man up because he had to do a Number 2 (TMI, sorry). I said that was fine and Little Man looked at me and said he had to do a Number 3.

Mother's Day

Well tomorrow is Mother's Day and today is Birthmother's day.

I will be honest I don't get into Mother's Day too much. Sure I appreciate the thought behind it and a day all to myself but honestly what if I wanted June 6th off and be able to sleep in. Why does it have to be a specific day? A mom's job is not easy at all. The hardest job is being a stay at home mom and those of us working mom's don't have it easy either.

I'm honestly not looking forward to when Daddy starts working again. It's nice not having to worry about laundry, cooking supper (most nights), getting Little Man ready in the morning, and most of the cleaning. I did spend a good chunk of today cleaning the bathrooms (Daddy forgets they exist and do need to be cleaned too), vacuuming, dusting and I did a couple loads of laundry (which reminds me, I still need to make our bed as I washed the sheets today). Boy am I exhausted!

OH! And I spent the day hard core potty training Little Man. We sat in the kitchen (with him naked) this morning and played with play-doh. He had a couple accidents but did really well. He would say he peed (even though he didn't), run to the bathroom and pee. He even went poopy in the potty!! I call that success! But as soon as that pullup was on (he needed it for his nap) it was back to the same old 'I went pee in my pull up) all afternoon. I seriously wonder if I should just tell him they don't make pull ups anymore and go from there. Advice would be greatly appreciated. It's frustrating when it seems like he knows what to do but once that pull up in is on he knows he can pee in it and so he does.

Although it gave me a very good reason to disinfect my kitchen floor. :)

Your Lucky

Yesterday while I was getting ready for work Daddy made the comment ‘Your Lucky’.  I thought to myself, ‘Me? Lucky? I am lucky.’  We have money coming in, food to eat and a roof over our heads and each other.   

 

Then he finished his sentence, ‘You’re lucky to go to have a desk to sit at.’  I looked at Daddy and sadly said, ‘You’re lucky to stay home with Little Man.’

 

That just broke my heart.  Daddy would do anything to have a job to go to everyday and I would do anything to be able to stay home with Little Man.  Unfortunately that is not where we are right now.  But where we are is good.  Daddy is a great daddy.  He keeps the apartment clean and all the laundry is caught up.  Little Man is doing great being at home with Daddy.  At night Little Man and I have our time and play.  I wish I could have more time but right now this works for us.  We enjoy our weekends together and now with warmer weather here we can spend a lot more time outdoors. 

 

We are still waiting to here back from the company on when they plan on opening their plant.  We pray they figure it out soon.  In order to open they need to have their drafting department set up and working so they have stuff to produce when they open. 

 

Friends of ours from church (who watch Little Man on Monday nights) gave us a name and number of a gal who does daycare.  This gal is the daughter of one of their friends.  So we know that this gal is trustworthy.  I plan on calling her soon to set up meeting with her and checking out her house.  I did find out that she has all girls in her daycare.  Little Man will have fun flirting all day.  J 

 

 

************

 

As I mentioned in my last post, Daddy and I aren’t doing IVF.  We are back looking into adopting a Waiting Child from overseas.  I have been emailing our agency and have been getting some positive feedback in regards to some of my questions. 

 

One of the issues we have is traveling.  We really don’t have anyone available to watch Little Man if we are gone for 2 weeks or more (hopefully less).  So we are looking into countries who allow one person to travel.  I am, however, hoping to ask one of my friends if she would like to travel with me.  (Hopefully she doesn’t read this before I get a chance to ask her.)  She has said she would love to travel to China with us and I want to see if she would travel to a couple other countries if our child happens to be there.  We, of course, would pay all her travel expenses.  I really don’t want to have to travel by myself as I don’t travel well.  I mean fly well.  But we’ll see what happens.

 

This is one reason we hope the company calls Daddy soon with a start date.  As soon as he has a job we would like to officially start the process for adopting #2.

 

That’s a brief update on us.  Hopefully soon we’ll have more good news.

 

 

Go ahead...stare...I don't mind

Daddy, Little Man, and I stopped for lunch today at Arby's after a busy morning of haircuts and returning a dress I bought. While we were eating a family sat down a few tables from us. It was a guy, his wife, 3 or 4 year old daughter and their infant.

Daddy, Little Man, and I finished eating and I was helping Little Man get cleaned up. Little Man is getting more independant and wanted to do it himself. So he was wiping his face off and hands. Daddy got him out of the highchair and he lost a shoe. While I was putting his shoe on Little Man and I were talking. He was teling me how much fun he was having and how good lunch tasted. I asked him if he said 'Thank You' to Daddy. He said 'No' and kept saying he has to find Daddy and say 'Thank You'.

While helping Little Man I had a feeling we were being watched. When I stood up I noticed the guy was staring at us. He didn't even bother to look away when I noticed him.

Go ahead, stare. I don't mind him watching us. I believe it's a parents job to raise a child to be respectful and caring. It's not easy being a parent and some days I wonder if I'm truly doing the right thing. But on days like today, I know Daddy and I are doing a good job.

8 things

My friend, Beth, tagged me to do this fun quiz. So here I go:

8 things I'm looking forward too:

1.Jeff getting a job.
2.Passover being over tomorrow. I can FINALLY eat real food at work!
3.Our IT guy will be looking at my computer tomorrow to set up some equipment so I can FINALLY get onto Medicare On-Line.
4.Ann coming over this weekend.
5.Possibly doing IVF in the near future.
6.Having more children.
7.Fall. Yes, I like summer but Fall beats it by far!
8.Last but not least, I'm looking forward to snuggling in my comfy bed and going to sleep tonight.

8 things I did yesterday:

1.Drove to work.
2.Played with the therapy dog, Jasper.
3.Worked some Medicare accounts and say a ton got paid. YAY!
4.Spent most of the morning working Admission Agreements and making phone calls.
5.Went to the floors (2nd and 3rd) to have some patients sign some Admission Agreements.
6.Played with David.
7.Watched TV with Jeff.
8.Checked my email.

8 things I wish I could do:

1.Cook like the pro's and actually like the food.
2.Be a tad more outgoing.
3.Sing for a living.
4.Travel more.
5.Be able to continue to be a stay at home mom.
6.Get rid of this gut of mine.
7.Get more involved with the community.
8.Have a sit down chat with S (David's birthmom) and just talk about anything.

SOOOOOOOOOO Frustrated!

I want to scream and cry! I've been looking forward (All Day to be exact) to looking up some stuff on the internet all day. It's what got me through the day. Knowing as soon as we were home from handbells I could grab my evenlope of my diagnosis (from 2002) and look stuff up.

And I can't find it! Daddy proceeded to inform me that it may be in the boxes in Little Man's room. Why are they in there?!?!?!?! So here I sit trying to find stuff on my own online and am having NO LUCK. I want to SCREAM! I'm SO mad and frustrated I want to pull my hair out!!

Here it is 10:30pm. I should be in bed but I want to continue looking up this information but I don't have my paperwork! I am very disappointed. Did I mention frustrated?

Why does Daddy always have to move stuff. It doesn't help I tried VERY hard to put this envelope in a safe spot when we moved. I even told Daddy to keep an eye on it. Of course he says I didn't (yeah, sure, you go on and believe that.). So where in the world could it be?! I want it! I want to be productive in looking up some information. I want to call the clinic and see if it's possible we over-reacted with our diagnosis...but I need my paperwork until I know for sure.

WHERE IS IT?!?!

Little Man and his Easter suit

He is Risen! He is Risen! Happy Easter everyone!

Is it May yet?

No I'm not anxious for April to be done. I want it to be May because on May 4th Little Man has his dermotology appt and on May 5th he has his allergy appointment. I have rescheduled these appointments 3 times since November. I have been keeping an eye on Little Man's arms and legs and thought they were doing pretty good (well at least not getting worse). If you remember I discontinued his lotions about 7 months ago as they weren't helping. Little Man was not in the mood to get dressed for church tonight and had his arms up tightly to his body with his hands on his face. He didn't have a shirt on and my heart just broke. His arms are SOOOO red! I felt his arms and they are very bumpy. I am sick to my stomach that I don't know what to do to make them better.

I know no type of lotion will help. Although I feel like I should put something on it. I wonder if I should lather his Aveeno Hydrocortisone Cream all over his arms. It does a good job in clearing up any exczema break outs he may have (which he hasn't had in a LONG time).

I'm starting to look into buying organic. I wonder if preservatives may be a factor. If not, it's good to eat healthy anyways. I do love organically grown eggs better than store bought. I'm doing some research and found a few farms that sell eggs. Daddy and I would like to own land when we buy a house (we've talked about this since we got married) and would like to have chickens.

Until then I'll keep praying that Little Man's arms and legs don't get worse and his appointments are here before we know it.

September 19th, 1981

I was 2 years, 9 months and some odd days old. I was just a few months shy of my 3rd birthday, which was my Golden Birthday.

In light of what is going on in Stellan's life I have been thinking alot about my surgery.

I was born with a hole in my heart. I was a very sick premie...infant...toddler until my VSD was repaired on September 19th 1981.

Little Man is the age I was when my mom had to watch the nurses wheel me into an operating room where they opened my chest stopped my heart (on purpose) and repaired the hole. My mom was there when I was wheeled back into my room. My mom has told me bits and pieces of that day to me. How she would be by my side and then run to the bathroom to get sick because it was so much to see me so gray with so many machines hooked up to me. Also the fact she had 3 other children at home that needed to be taken care off.

No child should have to go through this. No mom should have to see their child go through this. I look at Little Man and can't even imagine the thought of him being so sick, hooked up to machines, and not knowing what the future holds.

Could I be as strong as my mom? As strong as MckMama? To sit next to my childs bed praying to God that it be me lying there and not my child. Praying that the next time the doctors come in it is with good news and a possible drug that will cure everything. That the decisions that have to be made are the right ones, without a doubt.

Not only does a parent have to worry about the health of their child but also the costs of the hospital stay. When I was in college I found my old medical bills from my surgery. With the help from a coworker who's husband just had bypass surgery a few months prior I did a paper on the increased cost in the healthcare industry. It wasn't pretty. Please if you feel compelled go to MckMama's blog and donate to help relieve some of the costs. This is one thing they don't need to worry about.

I am proud to say I am a part of the 'Zipper Club'. I where my scar with pride. I went through a lot and did it with the help of God. I pray Stellan doesn't have to join this club. He is one strong little man and God has proven to be by his side. Continue to pray for him and his family.

Been MIA

Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I haven't felt like writing anything. I'm in a funk and as my friends on AT TAlk can attest, I'm not in the best of moods. I'm very frustrated with things in regards to having more kids. It's not fair and I am feeling pretty bitter about it. Which is really not like me.

Until I feel up to writing here a video of Little Man helping set the table. Isn't he the sweetest?!

See it's not because we're 'stupid'

As Daddy's grandpa has been calling us.

I saw this story on Kare 11 a couple weeks ago and was going to blog about it and forgot. They reaired it and I'm glad they did. Click HERE to read the story.

I know a lot of you know our situation. And others (in our family) are assuming we are in this situation because (according to Daddy's grandpa) we are stupid. No we're not. If you read Kare 11's article they tell you the same thing Daddy has been telling his family for a long time. The banks actually gain when a house is foreclosed on. They don't want to work with us, or anyone. I can't even count how many phone calls I made just to talk to someone. When I finally got through they all said the same thing 'Pay $xxxx in full and you'll be fine'. This was always followed by me laughing. Seriously? If I could pay that much don't they think I'd be paying my mortgage? And why is it when I talk to a rep (FINALLY! Oh wait...it was AFTER we were foreclosed on that I finally got a hold of someone) she tells us one thing (that is INCORRECT) and when I ask for a manager she tells me something completely different (but is the truth and helpful). They need to do some serious training or something.

This economy isn't looking out for Americans it's looking out for Wall Street and big wigs. Oh, let's give all these banks billions of dollars so they can keep screwing up hard working Americans. Then in 15 years my son (and future children) will still be paying off this mess with their taxes. Smart.

I wish people would open their eyes and see what is really going on.

So much to say

Little Man is talking up a storm and I also want to know where is he getting all of his energy. He is on the go as soon as he is up until he goes down for the night.

My favorite thing to do with him is talk. I love to ask him questions and see what he has to say. Everything is about dinosaurs, Little Einsteins, or Handy Manny. Oops, can't forget Lightening McQueen.

He's also wanting to do things himself. We're teaching him how to spit out his toothpaste and he's doing really well. He likes to put his shampoo in his hair and then his leave in conditioner. And he's great at picking up his toys. His bedtime routine includes him cleaning up his room. Daddy and I don't help (unless he asks or it's really late) and he will put his toys where they belong and his room is spotless. I hope he keeps this up when he's a teenager if not that OK. As long as he doesn't have food in his room.

He also loves to color. Daddy bought him this huge Coloring book that has Thomas the Tank Engine pictures in it. He also likes to take out his crayons and ask me or Daddy to draw a picture for him.

He is still a great eater. I'm very happy about that. Since I'm a picky eater I am worried he may be a picker eater too. We keep introducing different foods and he will happily try them. Minus mushrooms, I will not have my child eat a fungus. Blech. If he wants to try them when he's older, fine with me.

His imagination is also coming out full force. Right now he has 2 stairs that belong on his Geo-Trax train set and is using them as a car wash. He'll put a car in between them and move them back and forth like a car wash.

Life is great here and we are enjoying everyday.

Please pray

Please pray for Stellan.

Setting the table

Little helped me and set the table for supper. I think he did a great job. In the picture you can see his fork his on his plate. He knew he gets the little plate.

We match!

We went to get Little Man's feet remeasured last week or so and decided to get him some sandals. I told Daddy I would like new sandals too. The ones I have are flip flops and probably passed their usage about 5 years ago.

So Daddy got us all some Keen footwear. We all now have matching sandals. How cute is that?! We have the Newport H2 sandal. We love the outdoors and hope to spend lots of time out there this summer. These sandals will be perfect for walking/hiking while keeping our (especially Little Man's) feet cool and comfortable. And they are perfect for Little Man to wear while swimming in a lake with a rocky bottom.

Plus Daddy's discount made them the perfect price. :)

Emailed social worker

I just sent an email to our social worker at our agency asking questions about Embryo Adoption. I hope I'm able to get some answers tomorrow so we can decide on what to do next.

This whole thing about possibly doing Embryo Adoption is very exciting...and scary at the same time.

The exciting part: I get to be pregnant. Bring a child into this world who's life is on hold right now.

The scary part: Doing whatever is involved in getting ready for the transfers. We've never had to do any type of IVI, IUI or other infertility treatments as I have no problem getting pregnant. Pregnancy, will I be very sick? And last but not least...Labor. But I won't think of that until (if it ever happens) I reach that point.

I'm hoping our social worker is able to get back to me on Monday. I don't do well waiting. :)

Thoughts

I forgot to mention I received an email yesterday from our agency letting me know our application has gone through the process and was forwarded to our new social worker. The email also had a link for the portal we will use to be in contact with our social worker. It's really neat. There's a spot to post questions and responses and a section that has the checklist of what we need to accomplish. We have the preliminary application done and the next thing on the list said we needed to go to an informational meeting. I told Daddy I hope we didn't have to go since we already adopted and have been immersed in the adoption world since 2004. I just logged onto the portal tonight and there is a check mark by informational meeting. YAY! We don't have to go! The next step is formal application. Eep! It's getting exciting!

Daddy has a job interview next Thursday. Please pray he is offered the job.

*************

I have been looking for my glasses prescription the past few days because Daddy said there's a company (he can get a discount through Cabela's) that sells sunglasses and you can even get a pair with a prescription. Nice! Well I found a printout of an email Daddy's mom sent him. She had actually printed it and come to find out Brian brought it with him when he helped Dadddy move stuff, nice. I am just in shock after reading her comments about me and Daddy. More specifically Daddy. I don't mind she has turned everything I say around but don't go blasting Daddy. She has the nerve to turn Daddy's faith around and say how can God bless us when we seem to be spoiling ourselves. HUH? What? She then says she only learned about our foreclosure from Barb because she took the notion to look it up online. So that makes it OK? It's none of their business. We didn't tell them because, well, you know why, they assumed wrong and no matter what we say they don't believe us.

It's very pathetic. I just want to cry for Daddy. He has done everything to support his family, be there for us and provide for us. He has done more and then some and his parents/family have never given him any credit on what a wonderful, God-fearing man he is. Instead they turn around and bash him. Tear him down and make him feel like crap. While they all condone his 2 brothers who are 27 and 24 and have no jobs, no ambition in life, his parent pay for everything, and that's OK.

Why is the one son who actually is doing what God commands is bashed because of it? His parents should be proud of him. I pray Little Man grows up to be just like his dad.

It is very sad and I ask you pray for us/Daddy.

**************

Work is going great. I'm so tired at night and feel bad I haven't been able to connect with my friends. I haven't been able to be on Adoption Talk that much or able to call a few friends, especially my one friend who was just placed with a baby girl and another friend who gave birth to a baby boy last week. The nights are just too short.

I do feel blessed that Daddy has taking on all the house duties and I haven't had to lift a finger since I started working. Well I do help out but he has all the laundry caught up and dishes done. Today I came home from work and he had unpacked 3 boxes, put together a shelf in the kitchen that holds our pots and pans and a new computer desk. He also hung up 3 more picture frames, vacuumed and swept and mopped the entry way.

I'm truly blessed to have him.

Open Forum

We went to an open forum last night at our adoption agency. The title was 'Parenting a Child with Special Placement Needs'. Since we are open to toddler and up with minor correctable needs our (new) social worker suggested we go.

There were 6 people there telling their stories. Two adopted from MN waiting program, one was domestic adoption but all 4 of her kids have down syndrome, two adopted from China (one out of birth order) and another adopted from Guatamala.

It was very informative and eye opening. They told us their stories, how they came to the decision to adopt and how it has been since bringing their children (some adopted sibling groups) home.

My favorite part was how all mentioned how God had worked in them and through them to adopt there children. One lady mentioned how everytime they thought they were suppose to be going a certain way to adopt God seemed to be shutting the door. When the opportunity arose to adopt their son they were very resiliant but God seemed to keep that door open.

It was also neat to learn about all the services available here in the Cities to help children with special needs. Not only programs, doctors and hospitals but I learned there's a Chinese Charter school in Mpls. We aren't sure if China is where we'll be adopting from. It's high on the list of countries but we are keeping our eyes open so that when we look at the Children of Promise list we don't miss our child who may be in a different country.

I'm very excited for the next step. Although Jeff would like that next step to be next year. Sigh. Did he not just say it was OK to send the preliminary application in? (Which by the way, according to our new social worker is going through the channels of each country to see which ones we are approved for.) Jeff wants to wait to adopt until next year when we look for a house. Hmmm...If we start the paperwork in April and take our time doing it like we did when we adopted Little Man we can drag it out 6 months. That'll put us to October. It takes awhile to choose a child, wait to see if they are still available, and sometimes have to start over and choose again. Once we are matched it can take another couple months to get approval to travel (if we need too). That'll bring us around February. Perfect moving out time. And if anyone knows us, we have a tendency of not doing things the easy way.

So who knows. We'll see where God leads us and I'll keep you all posted.

Application submitted

I just submitted the preliminary application to our adoption agency for adoption #2!! EEeeeee!!! I'm so excited! I called Jeff while I was doing it thinking he would protest and he didn't! He was actually telling me which countries he wanted me to check off.

I'm SO excited! We have the meeting tomorrow at our agency. I plan to ask some questions and hopefully get some confusion worked out. Then I can apply for a loan and pray we get it.

Hmmm...

I (jokingly) told Daddy that I sent in the preliminary application to our adoption agency to start adoption #2. He looked at me and gave me his 'look'. I get this look a lot. :) I asked him if he was mad and he said NO and kind of expected me to do this. He really wasn't mad.

So I told him I haven't mailed the application in. He laughed and I said I'll mail it tomorrow.

He didn't say no...

Feeling down

I've been sick since Monday. I am feeling much better. Not throwing up but have been nauseous every now and then. I'm still not eating a lot (maybe that's a good thing). But my sinuses are still plugged. I can breathe at least but you can tell when I talk that I'm sick.

Back to being nauseous, I was telling my coworker yesterday that I was feeling sick to my stomach and how I didn't feel like this when I was throwing up on Monday night. She then made the comment about 'Gasp, maybe your pregnant.' I had to tell her unless some HUGE miracle happens (like Daddy's vasectomy that was done about 6 years ago all of sudden reverses itself.), that ain't possible. Although I have been thinking about it for the past 2 weeks. I'm late (well given the fact my cycle isn't 'normal'. I get it every other month. This should have been the month for it to come.) and last week I only had mild spotting for 2 days (if that) and that was it. And add that even though I lost 4 pounds my stomach has decided to get even bigger.

*Gasp* I'm pregnant. I wish it were that easy.

I've started reading more into Embryo Adoption at our agency. I was always turned off by it and honestly slightly repulsed. But now I think it's the sweetest thing. I brought it up to Daddy last night and he flat out said NO. He's still repulsed by it.

So, I'll just sit here and feel sorry for myself. I'm very worried about finding money for our 2nd adoption. I know I shouldn't but if we do the embryo adoption we could almost start this summer. There's a lot of things I would need to do to see if I'm able to do it and if I am, there will be lots of shots and pills I'm sure I'm going to need to do.

Also, the thought of possibly having multiples (like twins) is very appealing to me as our family would almost be complete...or even fully complete.

I will continue to pray that God gives me patience and strength. I ask for your prayers too.

I've been sick.

There's a lovely bug going around the nursing home and I got it. Let's just say I lost 4 pounds in one day. Yuck! I'm feeling better but am not in the mood to eat. I did have a little bit for supper but that was it.

Work has been busy. We only have one computer that has the Medicare billing program so I have to share that with my coworker, Lori, who is training me in. It's very frustrating for both of us, especially when two our our coworkers at the other site (Shaller Campus) keep calling to have us look up stuff because they can't get in on their end. We've stopped answering the phone. Unfortunately we still have about 25 days until the new broadband system is set up. I can't wait to be able to sit at my own desk and get some work down. Although I don't mind sitting with Lori and chatting it up during the day. :)

Then what...

Little Man and I were driving around yesterday when a song came on the radio that I hadn't heard in a LONG time. The song, Then What by Clay Walker, has always been a favorite of mine. Only because it has steal drums in it. As I was singing along the chorus caught my attention. Not that it hasn't before but with what is going on with someone I know this just struck a cord.

The chorus:
Then what, what you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
And it aint really love and it aint really lust
You aint anybody anyone's gonna trust
Then what, where you gonna turn
When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn
And fate can't wait to kick you in the butt
Then what

It strikes me sometimes how people don't truly seem to understand that their actions affect everyone. As the song Slow Fade by Casting Crowns goes:

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

There is always someone watching, not only our Lord above but also someone who admires you or even someone just passing by. It is these 'little feet' that are most affected by our choices.

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

When a choice is made to cross the fine line, no matter how small, that's when all that was before starts to slip away. The choice causes the person to slowly lose the perception on how life was before. The new choice is now most important and what they are leaving isn't important anymore.

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

Simple words can be just as powerful. Innocently speaking can very easily cross the line when someone isn't ready. It's then when the power of words can pull you in.

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

When in a situation that can seem innocent, it is then when black and white blend and a choice was made without the person realizing it. It is then, when the person can't see the way out.

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

And now they are completely immersed and there seems to be no way out.

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

It is when a person puts themselves into a seemingly innocent position that what was before seems wrong and where they are now is right. And that is when they start to fade away.

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Not only do they have little eyes watching but the Lord is watching too. And like him we are all looking with love and together we will get through this.

And as Clay Walker says 'Then what, what you gonna do, when the new wears off and the old shines through...'

So sweet

I was driving to get my hair done last night and noticed the wiper blade on my car is broken. The rubber part that is suppose to wipe the windshield is broken in a couple spots and flaps in the wind. Nice.

We are having some VERY nice warm weather here which means wet roads. I went to use the wipers this morning and all they did was smear my windshield. I could barely see out. So I called Daddy and asked if he and Little Man could go and get some wipers. I was thinking he could put them on my car tonight when I got home. Around 11am Daddy called and said my car has new wipers. Huh? He and Little Man drove to my work and put the new wipers on right there in the parking lot.

How sweet is that?!

Boxes, boxes...and more boxes

Our apartment is full of boxes. Boxes in the entryway, the hall way and our bedroom. Oh can't forget the box in the kitchen that has our pots and pans. I still need to get a shelf for those. Otherwise we are slowly moving in and it's starting to feel like home. I put up some pictures over the weekend and have a couple more to put up.

I'm slowly starting to get into my role at work. I know the billing system pretty well and have started working on some claims and the ancillaries by myself. It felt really good to be able to sit by myself and crunch some numbers without have to watch someone do it.

It's hard being away from Little Man. He greets me at the door when I come home with a HUGE hug and smile. It is the best. On Saturday morning he was getting frustrated because I wasn't leaving. He kept saying 'Mommy, you go to work.' I had to keep telling him it was Saturday and I didn't have to work.

We are set for a warm up here. I'm excited. Although during the weather forcast the dreaded words were said...Snow. In Minnesota we usually have one huge snow storm in March. I will be happy if it happens on a Friday night and by Monday morning most of it melts.

I know...I can dream.

A question by Little Man

Little Man: 'Mommy what time is it?'

Mommy: 'It's 12:02'

LM: 'No it's not.'

Mommy: 'It says right here, 12:02'

LM: 'No, it's 30 o'clock.'

Mommy: 'Oh, OK. My clock must be broken.'

Still on our way up

Five short months ago I stood in a kitchen of Daddy's grandpa while he reamed me a good one (in front of Little Man) and proceeded to call us names about our financial situation. A situation he didn't know or care to know anything about. After that day people in our family proceeded to make it their business and put us down. Even now my family is taking our unfortunate circumstances and turing it against me.

While all that has been going on God has continued to lift us up.

You all know the rest. We have a place to live and I have a great job. Well I happily announce we paid off some more debt today and closed our account with the consolidation company (they weren't doing anything anyways) as these accounts are now paid off.

PAID OFF. They are paid off! I LOVE those words! I'm so happy. I never thought I'd see this day.

Slowly getting there

Well we are mostly moved in. We have a few things left to move but otherwise have all the essentials.

Now...if only I could get my motivation back and start unpacking the rest of the boxes. I think there are 4 or 5 boxes left to unpack. Not including the pictures that need to be hung on the walls. We need to buy two shelves; one for each bathroom and another little one for the kitchen. The one in the kitchen will hold our pots and pans. The bathroom shelves will hold towels and other bathroom necessities.

I don't know if you noticed but I have a box noting the Adoption Tax Credit set to expire in 2010. I highly suggest you click it and contact your representative to make this permanent. I have heard the credit may get an extension for a few more years so this is good news for Daddy and I. With God blessing us immensly with a job and the ability to pay off some debt we are thinking about the possibility of creating more debt. Good debt that is...that'll be paid off with the Adoption Tax Credit. Yep, we are looking into when we'll be able to start adoption #2. I've talked with our social worker and told her our plans. It's looking like we'll be going international. We are hoping to adopt an 'older' child, menaing 6 months to 3 years. In the adoption world any child over 6 months (or has siblings) is considered special needs. I don't like how they label them like this but they do. If your wondering foster care isn't an option because most children that are waiting have siblings and the youngest is usually over 6.

We are still a few months (or year) from starting but who knows God may have other plans.

Daddy is hoping to get an interview with a company that's by St Cloud. It's not ideal, it's an hour drive one way but it's a job and the pay is what he was making at Precast Detailing. Hopefully he gets an interview and a job.

I am in awe at how much God has blessed us. We have lost our families but God has continued to show his love for us through our wonderful friends and eachother. To that I am thankful.

What a week!

Work is going great. I finally got computer access on Friday and was able to enter some claims and get my email all set up.

We are almost fully moved in and hope to be completely moved in by Sunday. Good thing we have help today.

We have a new address and phone number. I sent out mass emails so if you didn't get an email shoot me a email and I'll give everything to you.

Well if this shows anything on how busy (and overwhelemed) I am. I started this post this morning and never posted it. Whoops!

Short post

I won't be posting much the next few days. With the new job and moving I hardly have time for Little Man and Daddy. Hopefully by next week I can take it easy and slowly unpack stuff and stay intune to you all.

I am LOVING my new job. Although I'm pretty overwhelmed (and confused!) on all my job duties. But that's OK. I know I'll get it down eventually and will have a routine. One thing I do love is there is a therapy dog, Jasper, that comes in with her owner. She only goes in a couple times a week but because she had eye surgery she's been in everyday this week (so her owner can give her eye drops while she works). She is the sweetest and she goes around to all the business personnel to get a treat. I love it! She walks around the nursing home like she owns the place. It's too funny! She definitely knows where she's going.

We have a place and hope to be fully moved in by the beginning of next week. It's very hard when all of our friends are busy this week otherwise they would have helped during the week. We should have help tomorrow and Friday night and all weekend. So that'll help.

Well I'm off to target to pick up some things.

Oh Daddy got an email from a company he use to work for, well through his former job, and they want to set up an interview. The only bummer is the job is 1 hour and 5 minutes from our new home. Sigh. If we must, we must.

And good news is on April 1st we'll have insurance. It's not bad but the premium is awful. Wherever I've worked I've always had an option to pick a higher premimum plan and not have a deductible. Not here. Sigh. One option is a $1500 deductibe (or $6000 for our family) or a $500 deductible (or $1500 for our family). We're choosing the $500 deductible but that means we'll have to pay $548 and some change. Eep. More than I was hoping for.

Count down begins

In a little less than 2 days I will become a working mom. The thought excites and scares me at the same time. It's been exactly 2 1/2 years since I last worked. I also didn't have a small child relying on me.

I'm excited to get back into the work force. To be doing something I love and helping people at the same time. I'll be spending my days putting my knowledge and skills to use. I will also be learning knew practices and procedures.

I will also be spending 9 hours a day away from Little Man. Two and half years it was me and him all day. Playing with his cars, trains, coloring, reading books, watching a cartoon or two, or playing with play-doh. Watching him learn different things. Watching his vocabulary and personality blossom and seeing the joy in his face when he saw something for the first time.

Now it's Daddy's turn. Daddy is now a stay at home dad. I don't doubt his parenting but he's a guy and they don't think how us women do. I hope he can keep up with Little Man's potty training (like when Little Man says he needs to go to take him right then and there). Don't forget his 10am and 2pm snacks. Or that he likes to slowly wake up after his nap and be snuggled. And that a whole bowl of cereal and a banana is WAY too much food for a 2 1/2 year old.

Although there's a upside to all this. No more laundry for me! :) Daddy stays home, means daddy does the housework too. I won't mind giving that job up.

Do you Twitter?

How many of you twitter? I know some of the blogs I read also twitter. I'm debating on joining. It's easier to just write what I'm up too and I have a feeling I may use it more. But do I really need it?

So my question, do you twitter? And what do you think?

Busy Busy

Wow, 3 days have passed. I had hoped to blog the past 2 days and before I knew it they were gone.

Daddy and I have been so busy trying to get out of our house. Our mortgage company is messed up and so is the state of MN. We figured it all out (after 1 apartment and 1 townhouse denials) and looked at a condo today. We pray we won't need a co-signer. You would think one's family would be there for them and it amazes me how selfish our parents are. We aren't looking for handouts all we want is help getting back on our feet. My mom flat out said No and Daddy's parents have conditions attached to them saying yes.

Who does that? If my child were trying to get back on track I would be there in a heartbeat. No questions asked. It just boggles my mind when Daddy's parents still treat his 2 brothers (27 and 25) like kids and think it's OK. These 2 don't have jobs, have no plans for jobs, and still live at home. But they treat Daddy like crap when he is the one who pretty much raised himself and everything he has accomplished in his life he has done alone without his parents help. The only thing they did was berate him while he was making something of himself.

On the other side we have the most amazing friends. God has surely blessed us with you all. Thank you and hugs don't seem enough.

I also have the best boss. I called her today to let her know that the condo needed a letter stating I work there and what my annual salary is. She said our HR won't fill anything out like that until after my first day but if they don't mind an email she'll be happy to send something to them right now. That was very nice of her to do.

We should hear something by Monday morning if we are approved or not. I hope we are. It's a 2 bedroom, 2 bath condo. Although the bedrooms are on the opposite sides of eachother. Being a mom of a 2 year old this worries me. I just worry I won't be able to hear him cry or if he tries to leave. But he has had multiple chances here to open the front door when he was up in the mornings and he never did so I know he'll be OK.

Everything is looking up for us. We should have a new home next week. I start my new job. We get our tax refund late next week and will use part of it to pay off one of our debts. How exciting is that?! We are thrilled.

Daddy is thinking he won't be finding a job anytime soon. He looked at his normal job posting sites today and none had any new job postings. The paper only had 8 jobs posted. Not good. It's looking like he's going to be a stay at home dad for awhile. Nothing wrong with that! I have been wondering if maybe he should go full time at Cabela's. But the pay won't compare to his regular full time job so it's something we'll have to think about.

But right now we don't need to worry about it and will enjoy Little Man getting Daddy time.