Hello routine...

I am still working on my self study questions. TC on the other hand hasn't started yet. Very frustrating! Especially when I would like us to have these done by the time I start school again in a few weeks.

JT started kindergarten today. He was so excited....and VERY mad when I picked him up. He was not happy they learned so much all day (he told me he couldn't tell me what they did today because he was very tired) AND the worst part of it (according to him) he didn't get a nap. I don't know why he thought he would nap. He didn't when he went to preschool and I told him they aren't going to be taking naps. We even had him not take his naps the past couple weeks so he could be prepared on what to expect. I guess either way he was shocked. He said he didn't want to go back. He did learn to read a small little book (nothing major, it had a picture of a boy reading and he read 'I read' and another boy eating and he read 'I eat'). He was excited about that.

He is also excited for his glasses. He keeps asking when we can go get them. I hope we can pick them up tomorrow and he can have them for school on Wed.

Although, I do have to say even though I got to sleep in this morning and only worked 4 hours (I took JT to school and picked him up) I am exhausted. I have my registration stuff coming in for me going back to school in Sept and with the papers coming in for David's school it's a bit overwhelming trying to keep track of everything. We haven't even gotten into the full school schedule yet (handbells and choir for TC and I on Monday nights, JT will start piano lessons in a couple weeks, which means he'll need to practice every day. I'll have school every Wed night. TC and JT are going to do Pioneers through our church and all our PTC meetings and everything in between.) And adoption #2. We know God will help us get through all this but after looking at what is on my plate it's tempting to dump it to the side to see what falls off.

I am an Eomeoni

That is mother in Korean. :)

We had the pre-adoption classes this past Thursday and Friday. It was very overwhelming with all the information and tools our agency gave us. I have never been so tired in my life. A lot of information was repeat as we've been through the adoption process before. But what is new to us is inter-national and inter-racial adoption. I have friends who have adopted inter-racially and inter-nationally and have seen the joys and hurts that come along with it but learning how to raise a child in this isn't going to be easy.

We have not told our family that we are adopting from Korea yet. Most of our friends already know. Our family on the other hand may have issues. We already have experienced racism when we adopted JT. We had many family members express they hope we don't adopt a black baby. When we called and said we were placed the first question asked was not if it was a boy or a girl but if it was white.

A few of these family members are no longer in our lives because of these comments and other comments made after JT was brought home so I am not concerned with how they will react when they find out we are adopting internationally.

Back to the classes. We got a lot more paperwork we need to fill out before we can complete our homestudy. We need to fill out a self study of ourselves. We have about 16 questions we need to answer and it will equate to about 10 pages after it is all completed. Eep! It it my goal to get this done before I start school so I can concentrate on schoolwork.

I am going to be open and say we are planning on adopting a daughter. In our adoption classes they expressed the need for people to adopt boys as it seems everyone is requesting a girl. For our family, and JT's prayers for a sister, we feel a daughter will be a perfect fit.

I am eagerly searching the web for Korean pictures, figurines, recipes, and I am also looking for website that have the Korean language so we can start speaking a little Korean.

I also need to get a passport and soon. I am hoping to be able to do that in the next couple weeks.

Now back to searching the web!

Moving along

We are approved to go to the pre-adoption classes in 2 weeks. I'm so excited! With the drama of the information they needed it all worked out.

I got my finger prints done today at the government center. It took a few trips. I accidentally signed the card (whoops!). Instead of driving an hour to our agency I went down the street to the Human Service center and thankfully they have some. Drove back to the government center and found out the fee went up. I didn't have enough cash, or my checkbook and they don't take credit cards. So I drove 20 minutes home and 20 minutes back with my checkbook. For a visit that should have taken 30 minutes it took me almost 2 hours. Yuck. But it's done.

Now I have to do my back ground stuff online. I think I'll do that tomorrow.

We are moving along and these 2 hiccups are just the beginning of the stress that I know will come.

I can't believe I forgot.

I forgot how much I detest all this paperwork and that you are at the mercy of the agency. We got a letter from our agency stated they were missing a couple things and if they don't receive them by today we won't be able to be in the Sept classes. Um, I was told if we got everything in we'd be in the AUGUST classes. So I had to miss more work today and drove to the agency to find out what is going on. Come to find out they need a letter from my cardiologist and a copy of our previous homestudy from our first agency. The kicker is I had asked if they needed those now and was told they would need them later. Had I been informed, yes get on those you need them when you send in our paperwork, I would have done everything in my power over a month ago to get it all sent to them.

Our former agency said they would fax everything today. I wait on my doctor. Even if they get everything by next Monday our papers still have to be approved by the director of social service. What is hard for me is that this isn't our first adoption. I would completely understand if we hadn't adopted before and they were being cautious. But we have a previous homestudy and a wonderful adopted son. Isn't that enough to say that we aren't lunatics or pedophiles?

I am starting to remember that like a pregnancy you go through so many emotions. Today I was from extremely sad to ticked off. For my sanity I hope we get into the Aug classes.

Hopefully next week brings some much needed good news. Along with word on our tax refund.

It has begun

I dropped off our formal application today. Woot! Hopefully we'll get word soon that we are officially invited to the adoption classes in Aug. I can't believe it's finally here. We are finally moving along. Although we have still to apply for a loan. Pray we are able to get the loan amount we are needing and after the home study is complete we are approved for some grants. Until then I am so excited this portion of the paperwork is done. It was very overwhelming having to fill it all out but we did it.

YAY!

Whoops

I guess we won't be eating at our dining room table until all the adoption paperwork is filled out and sent. I have the paperwork in piles, the ones I need to fill out, the ones TC needs to fill out, and another that is already filled out. It's on one side of the table and I thought it was far enough away from JT when he eats. Well he had put his frosty glass on the table and it sweated (is that a word?) and got some of the papers wet. Whoops.

On other news today was Day 1 of me working out. TC got us a membership at a gym that is literally a block from our house. Nice! I started slow and did the treadmill for 30 minutes. I didn't want to over do it since it was my first day. Plus I was hungry and new I'd be very dizzy at the end, which I was. Now to work onto weights and hopefully get a new routine and get myself in shape and toned. Along with getting my heart strong which is what my cardiologist wants.

I can't believe I forgot

We received the formal application today along with some other paperwork. I can't believe I forgot how much paperwork there is. We also need physicals, background checks, and fingerprints. Luckily all we have to do for the background check is fill out this form. The fingerprints thankfully will happen a little further down the road.

I am kind of worried that we have to do the physicals before we had in our formal application. At the other agency we could do them later. I'm trying to get everything in so we can get in the July classes. I am trying to find a doctor closer to home and will need to call a new clinic to schedule my appointment. I'm sure the appointment will be a ways out. I'm going to call the agency and find out. I hope we can send the application in at least.

I think this is the hardest part of adoption, all the paperwork and making sure everything is filled out.

My other least favorite part is asking for references. I'm kind of embarrassing asking people to talk about how good you are and your not a serial killer. I have a couple friends who offered to write up something. Now I just need to find one more. The other thing is I know everyone is busy and hate to hound them but the agency needs them.

If we don't need the physicals yet and I can send in the application, I hope to mail them next week. Can't wait!

Hang on to your hats!

I have lots of news to share.

First news is I am going back to school. I am going be getting my B.A. in Business Management with a minor in Health care Leadership. I took 2 classes this past Spring and will start my cohort in Sept. I will say it is going to be a very long 2 years. I was studying every night and pretty much all weekend. That was tough on my and JT. Every time he saw my laptop out he asked if I was doing schoolwork. I hope and pray that when I (finally) walk across the stage he can be proud of his mom and know that if I can do it he can do anything too.

The other news is we are starting adoption #2. I am excited and petrified at the same time. We will not be going through the agency we used for JT's adoption. We had an informational meeting today and filled out the preliminary application before we left. Hopefully we'll receive the formal application next week and can get started on that. After that is completed we need to attend a few classes. The next round of classes are at the end of July. I hope we can get into those and not have to wait until Aug.

The one thing about this is, of course, the money. We had a little bit of JT's tax credit to claim on last years taxes and because of the new tax law our refund is held up. We were hoping to use that for the homestudy (since most banks and other agencies who offer loans won't issue a loan until the homestudy is complete). I'm now searching the web for anyone who can issue us a loan to get through the homestudy. Prayers will be greatly appreciated.

A sibling

Little Man needs a sibling...BAD. If we're in the 'baby's' room he'll ask me if he can play with 'her' when she isn't in the crib. The toys in the room are also 'her's'. He has also been saying his teddy bear is his sister the past few weeks. I try to tell him that his teddy isn't his sister. He doesn't have a sister yet but he always argues that teddy is indeed his sister.

Here is another issue, a sister. Not a brother, but a sister. I keep telling him it is up to God to bless us with a baby boy or girl. I tell him if he really would like a sister he needs to pray to God and ask for one. He will fold his hands and with my help pray for a sister (I of course, wouldn't have him full out pray for a sister but if it's in God's will he would like a sister.).

But this has me thinking. Should we go for it and check we only want a girl on our adoption paperwork? I know we can choose and we (OK, me) chose that we really shouldn't choose between a boy and girl but leave it up to God. But Daddy REALLY wants a daughter this time around (And no, we do not talk about this with Little Man. He has done all this sister wanting on his own.).

Is this God's way of saying our next child is a girl? That we should go for it and only check girl? I fear that if we do we'll be waiting another 2 years. I don't know if I can handle that long of a wait again.

I am unsure what to do. If I had my way I would have started the process (Ok, fine, I would be pregnant) months ago...

Adoption and health

Adoption is our life. It's how our family is growing. We love adoption. We breathe adoption.

But it doesn't mean it's easy.

Little Man is our son. Our pride and joy. Then he gets sick and we take him to the doctor. And the doctor asks 'Is there family history of ...?' It's right then when I crawl into myself and sheepishly say 'He's adopted. We don't know anything about his birthdad but his birthmom did not mention anything about such and such issue.' As I think to myself 'I don't even know if we had our agency send her an email asking such question if she would respond.'

Don't get me wrong. I am not ashamed Little Man is adopted. It's when all is thrown out the window in trying to diagnosis what may be causing Little Man's stomach pains. It would be wonderful to know his brithdad's heath history. Once when asked a question I answered NO, there is no family history as I was thinking of my family but had to correct myself and state he's adopted. He's my family. Doesn't DNA become the same after the judge says it's official? When friends, family and strangers say Little Man looks so much like daddy doesn't that mean my family history is now his?

That'd be too easy, right? After prayers one night Little Man asked where his birthmom was. I explained I think she's in Wisconsin but maybe one day he can see about finding her. He liked that idea.

I just wish we had a little more contact so we could get more medical history. Especially with his family inherited Keratosis Pilaris.

His folder

While Little Man was napping I started to pack the knick knacks on the entertainment center. One box full and that was enough for me. I decided to go through these stack of papers (Daddy has a tendency of keeping junk mail and fliers) as I knew some of our adoption paperwork could be in there. The papers were on top of the adoption folder I am keeping all our paperwork in and I wanted to make sure it was all in there. I did this mostly for my piece of mind so I know where everything is. Luckily everything is in the folder and good to go. I put the folder on our bed so I can put it with Little Man's folders (yes he has more than one stuffed full of copies of the adoption paperwork, and his adoption degree is in there too) when we move (again so I know where they are) and then it can go in our room (until the adoption is done and if we get more paperwork they can go in there). Little Man's will go in his closet where he'll be able to look at it.

Daddy and I were sitting on the bed talking and Little Man walked in and climbed up onto the bed. He saw the folder and asked what it is. I told him it is the paperwork so we can adopt a baby sister or brother for him (by the way he wants a sister). He looked at the paperwork and me and commented on how orange is a nice color for this paperwork. I told him he has his own folder too. His eyes got big and he got excited. I pointed to our bookshelf and said 'See that blue one? That's yours.' I told him how we had to fill out the same paperwork so we could adopt him and now we are doing it again to adopt a brother or sister.

Most kids get to see their mommy's belly grow and know they have a brother and sister in there. Little Man sees that we are doing the exact same thing as we did to adopt him. (Unlike if we could go the um, you know biological way. Can't explain that whole process to a 3 year old.) I am excited for the day we sit in the court room in Central MN to declare his new baby brother or sister legally a part of our family and have Little Man there watching. Knowing we did the exact same thing for him.

This is all for them.

Here's an oxymoron for you

Patiently waiting.

I'd be lying if I said I was patiently waiting. I submitted the last part of our formal application on Sunday and am eagerly waiting for our agency to get the ball rolling. I'm eager for more paperwork, interviews, and most of all I need to go to the doctor (nothing serious I need to get my heart listened by my doc and want to get it done with) and want the paperwork so I can get everything done at once.

Our agency has added a couple more children waiting for their forever families. Boy are they cute! I showed a picture of a little boy to Daddy and his not so enthusiastic reply was 'Oh, he's cute.' Fine, never mind. I think he has his heart set on a daughter. I honestly hope not that it deters him from any little boys that could possibly be our future child.

I'm so thankful to our friends who have offered to be our references. I can not describe how scared I was to ask. I know they are our friends and would do anything but it is so humbling to ask someone to talk about your life and all that you do. The raising of our child and our spirituality. I'm so in awe over my friends and feel I should tell our social worker we are honored to have them as our friends.

And the countdown is on to Little Man's 3rd birthday. I can NOT believe he is going to be 3. Words cannot express how much love I have for him. The joy, the laughter that come from him is contagious. I love his love for books, Thomas the tank engine, and cars. And be careful, if you come into our home there may be a dinosaur lurking ready to RAWR!

And so it begins

What's with this? I dropped off our paperwork on Friday and I'm already itching to buy stuff. We going international this time around. We know our next child will be over a year (and under 3) by the time we bring he/she home. So why do I feel the urge to go out and by everything in sight? Clothes, shoes, toys, and we haven't even started the homestudy yet! I figured this time around would be different. The first time we knew we'd be placed with an infant. So we needed bottles, bibs, onesies, car seat, a stroller, toys, wipes, changing table, high chair and many other things. This time we don't need all that. Ok maybe diapers. We have 2 car seats (one in each car and can easier use the 2nd one for our future child).

I found myself asking Daddy if we can buy a shelf for our next child. Of course he gave me 'the look'. Which is the look I got the last time we were waiting and wanted to buy everything under the sun.

Hopefully I can hold myself back and not buy anything until we're matched. :)

It's been awhile

Wow, I really haven't been writing much, have I? Honestly the past few weeks I haven't felt like writing. Just a lot going on. Frustrations with Daddy and the job market and the lovely economy were in.

I do have some news to share.

First, it's looking like Daddy may be going back to school. He may do this program through this school here in the Cities our friend is going through. I will definitely keep you all posted on that.

Second, next week I will be mailing out the formal application for our 2nd adoption. Eeeee!!! I'm so excited and scared. We are going to do what we did the first time and take our time with our homestudy. We should be approved by the end of the year. Daddy also been getting lots of hours from Cabela's which is helping in saving up for the homestudy. It's nice we can pay cash for that and not have to figure that into our loan. I'm eager to start the homestudy because then we can apply for grants. And by the time we're done with the homestudy Daddy should be done with the program and maybe have a full time job. Who knows.

Keep us in your prayers.

BTW, Daddy was a daughter and Little Man wants a brother. Sigh...I just want another child to love.

Converstations with Little Man

Mommy: Who's S?

Little Man: S?

Mommy: Yes, who is S?

Little Man: She's my birthday mom.

Mommy: She's what?

Little Man: She's my birthday mom.

Mommy: *smiles* Yes, yes, she is.

Conversations with Little Man

(We finished saying his bedtime prayers and like we do every night we pray for S. This conversation happened right after we said Amen.)

Little Man: I'm adopted.

Mommy: Yes you are.

Little Man: Maria (she's our hairstylist) is adopted.

Mommy: Yes she is.

Little Man: (Holds up his stuffed dog) Is Max adopted?

Mommy: Yes we adopted Max into our family.

Little Man: Teddy?

Mom: Yes

LM: Tiger?

Mom: Yes

LM: My bed?

Mom: No, your bed isn't adopted.

Little Man thinks for a little bit.

LM: Is Andrea adopted? (She's a friend of ours)

Mom: No, Andrea isn't adopted.

LM: She's not?

Mom: No, there are some people who are adopted. Like you and Malia. And some who aren't, like Andrea. Because that's the way God planned it.

LM: Neat.


Yes, Little Man that is very neat.

Your Lucky

Yesterday while I was getting ready for work Daddy made the comment ‘Your Lucky’.  I thought to myself, ‘Me? Lucky? I am lucky.’  We have money coming in, food to eat and a roof over our heads and each other.   

 

Then he finished his sentence, ‘You’re lucky to go to have a desk to sit at.’  I looked at Daddy and sadly said, ‘You’re lucky to stay home with Little Man.’

 

That just broke my heart.  Daddy would do anything to have a job to go to everyday and I would do anything to be able to stay home with Little Man.  Unfortunately that is not where we are right now.  But where we are is good.  Daddy is a great daddy.  He keeps the apartment clean and all the laundry is caught up.  Little Man is doing great being at home with Daddy.  At night Little Man and I have our time and play.  I wish I could have more time but right now this works for us.  We enjoy our weekends together and now with warmer weather here we can spend a lot more time outdoors. 

 

We are still waiting to here back from the company on when they plan on opening their plant.  We pray they figure it out soon.  In order to open they need to have their drafting department set up and working so they have stuff to produce when they open. 

 

Friends of ours from church (who watch Little Man on Monday nights) gave us a name and number of a gal who does daycare.  This gal is the daughter of one of their friends.  So we know that this gal is trustworthy.  I plan on calling her soon to set up meeting with her and checking out her house.  I did find out that she has all girls in her daycare.  Little Man will have fun flirting all day.  J 

 

 

************

 

As I mentioned in my last post, Daddy and I aren’t doing IVF.  We are back looking into adopting a Waiting Child from overseas.  I have been emailing our agency and have been getting some positive feedback in regards to some of my questions. 

 

One of the issues we have is traveling.  We really don’t have anyone available to watch Little Man if we are gone for 2 weeks or more (hopefully less).  So we are looking into countries who allow one person to travel.  I am, however, hoping to ask one of my friends if she would like to travel with me.  (Hopefully she doesn’t read this before I get a chance to ask her.)  She has said she would love to travel to China with us and I want to see if she would travel to a couple other countries if our child happens to be there.  We, of course, would pay all her travel expenses.  I really don’t want to have to travel by myself as I don’t travel well.  I mean fly well.  But we’ll see what happens.

 

This is one reason we hope the company calls Daddy soon with a start date.  As soon as he has a job we would like to officially start the process for adopting #2.

 

That’s a brief update on us.  Hopefully soon we’ll have more good news.

 

 

Emailed social worker

I just sent an email to our social worker at our agency asking questions about Embryo Adoption. I hope I'm able to get some answers tomorrow so we can decide on what to do next.

This whole thing about possibly doing Embryo Adoption is very exciting...and scary at the same time.

The exciting part: I get to be pregnant. Bring a child into this world who's life is on hold right now.

The scary part: Doing whatever is involved in getting ready for the transfers. We've never had to do any type of IVI, IUI or other infertility treatments as I have no problem getting pregnant. Pregnancy, will I be very sick? And last but not least...Labor. But I won't think of that until (if it ever happens) I reach that point.

I'm hoping our social worker is able to get back to me on Monday. I don't do well waiting. :)

Thoughts

I forgot to mention I received an email yesterday from our agency letting me know our application has gone through the process and was forwarded to our new social worker. The email also had a link for the portal we will use to be in contact with our social worker. It's really neat. There's a spot to post questions and responses and a section that has the checklist of what we need to accomplish. We have the preliminary application done and the next thing on the list said we needed to go to an informational meeting. I told Daddy I hope we didn't have to go since we already adopted and have been immersed in the adoption world since 2004. I just logged onto the portal tonight and there is a check mark by informational meeting. YAY! We don't have to go! The next step is formal application. Eep! It's getting exciting!

Daddy has a job interview next Thursday. Please pray he is offered the job.

*************

I have been looking for my glasses prescription the past few days because Daddy said there's a company (he can get a discount through Cabela's) that sells sunglasses and you can even get a pair with a prescription. Nice! Well I found a printout of an email Daddy's mom sent him. She had actually printed it and come to find out Brian brought it with him when he helped Dadddy move stuff, nice. I am just in shock after reading her comments about me and Daddy. More specifically Daddy. I don't mind she has turned everything I say around but don't go blasting Daddy. She has the nerve to turn Daddy's faith around and say how can God bless us when we seem to be spoiling ourselves. HUH? What? She then says she only learned about our foreclosure from Barb because she took the notion to look it up online. So that makes it OK? It's none of their business. We didn't tell them because, well, you know why, they assumed wrong and no matter what we say they don't believe us.

It's very pathetic. I just want to cry for Daddy. He has done everything to support his family, be there for us and provide for us. He has done more and then some and his parents/family have never given him any credit on what a wonderful, God-fearing man he is. Instead they turn around and bash him. Tear him down and make him feel like crap. While they all condone his 2 brothers who are 27 and 24 and have no jobs, no ambition in life, his parent pay for everything, and that's OK.

Why is the one son who actually is doing what God commands is bashed because of it? His parents should be proud of him. I pray Little Man grows up to be just like his dad.

It is very sad and I ask you pray for us/Daddy.

**************

Work is going great. I'm so tired at night and feel bad I haven't been able to connect with my friends. I haven't been able to be on Adoption Talk that much or able to call a few friends, especially my one friend who was just placed with a baby girl and another friend who gave birth to a baby boy last week. The nights are just too short.

I do feel blessed that Daddy has taking on all the house duties and I haven't had to lift a finger since I started working. Well I do help out but he has all the laundry caught up and dishes done. Today I came home from work and he had unpacked 3 boxes, put together a shelf in the kitchen that holds our pots and pans and a new computer desk. He also hung up 3 more picture frames, vacuumed and swept and mopped the entry way.

I'm truly blessed to have him.

Open Forum

We went to an open forum last night at our adoption agency. The title was 'Parenting a Child with Special Placement Needs'. Since we are open to toddler and up with minor correctable needs our (new) social worker suggested we go.

There were 6 people there telling their stories. Two adopted from MN waiting program, one was domestic adoption but all 4 of her kids have down syndrome, two adopted from China (one out of birth order) and another adopted from Guatamala.

It was very informative and eye opening. They told us their stories, how they came to the decision to adopt and how it has been since bringing their children (some adopted sibling groups) home.

My favorite part was how all mentioned how God had worked in them and through them to adopt there children. One lady mentioned how everytime they thought they were suppose to be going a certain way to adopt God seemed to be shutting the door. When the opportunity arose to adopt their son they were very resiliant but God seemed to keep that door open.

It was also neat to learn about all the services available here in the Cities to help children with special needs. Not only programs, doctors and hospitals but I learned there's a Chinese Charter school in Mpls. We aren't sure if China is where we'll be adopting from. It's high on the list of countries but we are keeping our eyes open so that when we look at the Children of Promise list we don't miss our child who may be in a different country.

I'm very excited for the next step. Although Jeff would like that next step to be next year. Sigh. Did he not just say it was OK to send the preliminary application in? (Which by the way, according to our new social worker is going through the channels of each country to see which ones we are approved for.) Jeff wants to wait to adopt until next year when we look for a house. Hmmm...If we start the paperwork in April and take our time doing it like we did when we adopted Little Man we can drag it out 6 months. That'll put us to October. It takes awhile to choose a child, wait to see if they are still available, and sometimes have to start over and choose again. Once we are matched it can take another couple months to get approval to travel (if we need too). That'll bring us around February. Perfect moving out time. And if anyone knows us, we have a tendency of not doing things the easy way.

So who knows. We'll see where God leads us and I'll keep you all posted.