Life and such

Today I weighed myself so I can start keeping track of how much weight I lose (if any). I've lost 5 lbs since December. Thinking back to what happened in December and the fact all I was eating was chocolate (and very little of anything else) I've come to realize maybe I was more stressed out over what is going on (with my nephew) than I thought. I also measured my waist and am hoping to lose 2 1/2 inches. Yep it's that big. Eep!

As you all know I'm reading the book Love and Respect. I highly recommend this book to all married couples, even couples who are engaged and going out. It truly is an eye opening book. Dr. Eggerichs talks about how God commands husbands to love their wives but doesn't really state to wives to love their husbands. That's because we already do that. It's programmed in us. What isn't programmed in us is respecting our husbands.

This has really hit home to me. I never had any role models so to speak in the marriage area. My parents don't have a marriage. My mom yelling at my dad all the time and pretty much telling him what he was doing wrong. Then seeing him go into himself and just shut down. This book made me see how my mom wasn't respecting my dad and my dad was reacting the only way he knew how, by shutting down. My mom wanted love, my dad wanted respect. Neither was/is showing each other love or respect and so begins the Crazy Cycle (as Dr Eggerichs describes). Unfortunately my mom sees everything as my dad's fault (and my dad not able to communicate why he's not loving my mom) and unfortunately this Crazy Cycle is continuing.

A couple weeks ago I was talking to my mom (which unfortunately looks like will be the last time for a long time) and she said she was wondering when the fairy tale life will start (meaning a wonderful life, with no conflict in anything; ie, marriage). At the time I kind of agreed. Well, not kind of, I did agree. As I get deeper in this book and look at my own life I realize I am living a fairy tale. God has given me a wonderful, caring and supportive husband. He has given us the tools (and the open mind) to know how to make our marriage better. He has continuously blessed us even during the hard times. We still act like we are going out. We talk, joke, hold hands, and snuggle.

I think back to when my mom was my age. By 30 she had 4 kids (ranging from 2 months (twins, by the way) to 6 years) and one daughter who was very sick (me). She would talk about the things my dad didn't do during this time and the years following and how she had to do it all herself. As I look back my dad did help out, a lot. He did everything my mom asked of him. Many things he did without complaining. My mom couldn't see that unfortunately. Now I look at my marriage. I see how Daddy and I both work together. I see the respect we both have for each other. I see how we both can turn to each other in our times of weakness.

To that I thank God. Thank you for having Daddy and I find each other. Thank you for the joy you have shown us. The love we have for each other is because of you and through you. I am thankful Little Man will see how because of God all things are possible. Even when things are tough.