I disagree

It still surprises me some of the things people say about adoption. When we were picking Little Man up from A & B's house (on Monday) A was asking if we had contact with Little Man's birthmom. I said that we send her pictures and a letter once a year around Little Man's birthday.

A proceeded to tell me that's one thing she doesn't understand/like about adoption. She tells me that the gal (her words not mine) gave up her child and that child is now the child of the adoptive parents. (I agree.) She also said that she has seen children ask to meet their birthparents/family when they are teenagers and it just turns around on the adoptive family. She says that child is the adoptive parents child and no longer the birthfamily's and they shouldn't be asking to meet them. (I disagree.)

Now I don't know the stories about the 2 people she was talking about. I don't know how the children were treated growing up (was adoption openly talked about? maybe they just had a strained relationship with their parents because, well, they are teenagers), how old were the children when they asked and if they had prior information about their brith families.

But what I do know is that adoption is an open word in our house. It is spoken pretty much everday. We pray for Little Man's birthmom everyday. And yes, Little Man is OUR son but he is also S's son. She has every right to meet him and he meet her. So if Little Man is 18 years old and says he wants to meet her by all means I'll drive him to wherever she wants to meet him.

But don't be telling me that birthfamilies shouldn't have the right to see the child they lovingly placed in the arms of an adoptive family. Don't tell me that it'll 'confuse' the child on who his 'real' family is. He will know who his real family is. He will also know S's family is an extended family who all love him.

Now...if only I could say all that when people make a comment like this. I still get shocked that some people think this way of thinking is OK. Sigh.