I've been thinking

I've been thinking about this alot lately and after reading a friend's blog (I would link it but it's private, sorry) it really brought it to the surface. My friend mentioned in her blog she sent her quarterly pictures and letter to her daughter's birthmom. In her letter she requested that her daughter's birthmom send pictures of her siblings.

I have been thinking alot about Little Man's sister. We know he has one and she is 5 years older than him. We know she lives in Virginia or somewhere over on that side of the US. (I'll have to relook at our paperwork to make sure I have this right.) Our agency never really dwelled on the fact Little Man has a sibling. They told us he has one, what her name is, and where she lives but they don't know why S didn't ask them (or maybe she did but again why would they turn down another adoption is another question) to adopt Little Man.

We have a semi-open adoption. Actually, it's more like semi-closed. We send letters and pictures to S once a year. We don't hear from her and she actually hasn't contacted our agency in about 2 years. So my question is, Do we have the option (or right?) to have our agency ask her for information on A (Little Man's sister). Would A's family want to know about Little Man? Why didn't they adopt Little Man? Did S not tell them? Did they (possibly with a heavy heart) turn her down? But Marlene, the birth parent counselor, told us that S had opened the phone book when she gave birth to Little Man and that's how she found Bethany. They were pretty much right in the front. So I'm thinking they don't even know about Little Man.

Also, if we contact A's family and they indeed don't know about Little Man, would this ruin what (if any) relationship they may have with S.

I don't know if I should leave this alone and deal with it when he's older or if this is something we should do now.

We pray for S everynight with Little Man and I'm wondering if we should pray for A too.

Not only is there no guidebook to raising kids. There is no adoption book explaining what to do in this situation. Each situation is different but it doesn't make it easy.